The Power of Saying No: Exploring Roots and Boundaries
Letting go is about learning how to say no and noticing, in real-time, what we don’t like or need — and then stopping it before discomfort sets in.
This week I’m theming my yoga classes around the Earth Element. our connection to this element is never more vivid and special than at this time of year when the leaves are changing colour and the scent of fresh dew fills the air.
It’s also a natural shedding, as we are reminded of the beauty which can come from letting go of what no longer serves us.
Letting go is also about learning how to say no. Saying no isn’t about assertiveness for me. It’s more about noticing, in real-time, what I don’t like or need — and then stopping it before discomfort sets in. It sounds simple, but for years, I pushed myself to fit into situations that felt wrong to me, trying to match the energy of those around me.
The only solution I found was to say no more — *a lot* more. No without overthinking. No without guilt. Protecting my energy, my time, and my mental well-being became essential. But saying no often means I sometimes miss out on new experiences, the ones that could bring me joy or fulfilment. If I constantly retreat behind my boundaries, how do I explore what I might actually love?
This is where the balance comes in, and, interestingly enough, the shift of seasons helps to guide this journey.
Autumn: A Season of Grounding and Reflection
As we move towards the Autumn Equinox we’re reaching a pivot between the dark and light halves of the years. It’s a time where we’re being encouraged to let go — of the lighter warmer days — and what no longer serves us, of unnecessary burdens, of energy drains. This natural shedding is the ultimate act of saying no.
Autumn is also the season associated with the earth element, symbolising grounding, stability, and introspection. These qualities resonate deeply with the Muladhara chakra, or root chakra, which governs our sense of safety, security, and belonging. Located at the base of the spine, the Muladhara chakra is our energetic foundation, keeping us grounded, much like the roots of a tree.
When our root chakra is balanced, we feel secure in setting boundaries, knowing when to say no, and protecting ourselves from what depletes us. Autumn's grounding energy makes it the perfect season to connect with the earth element, aligning with the strength of the Muladhara chakra to deepen our sense of self-awareness and protection.
Saying No: Rooted in the Muladhara Chakra
In the same way that the trees stand firm, deeply rooted in the earth, our Muladhara chakra provides the stability we need to set boundaries and say no with ease. When we nurture this chakra, we gain the confidence to assert what we do and don’t want — but it goes beyond just protecting ourselves. A balanced root chakra allows us to explore new territory without fear.
How does this work? Just as autumn brings both reflection and release, the Muladhara chakra invites us to feel safe in our boundaries while also exploring the lush territory of our desires. It’s about trusting ourselves enough to say no when we need to, but also knowing when to say yes to something new, enriching, or exciting.
Balancing Boundaries and Exploration
Here’s where the challenge lies: How do we know when to say yes and open ourselves up to new experiences? How do we make room for growth without compromising our boundaries?
One way is by continuously grounding ourselves in the earth element and connecting with our root chakra. Practices like meditation, walking barefoot on the earth, or even spending time in nature during autumn can help balance the Muladhara chakra. When we feel secure, we can make more conscious decisions about what to let in and what to push away.
This is not only about self-protection; it's also about growth. By grounding ourselves, we allow for exploration, but only when it feels right. Saying yes more often doesn't mean abandoning our boundaries. It means understanding them deeply enough that we can sometimes bend without breaking.
Listening to Others' Boundaries
Another important aspect of saying no is learning how to hear it from others. We are often taught to assert our own boundaries but rarely reminded to respect others. How often do we push someone to do something they’ve declined? We might say, “Come on, it’ll be fun!” or dismiss their concerns with “It wasn’t noisy the last time I was there.”
In respecting others' boundaries, we practice empathy. We recognise that their needs may differ from ours, just as our own root chakra grounding helps us respect our limits. This kind of empathy for others' red lines also helps create safer, more supportive environments for everyone, allowing us all to thrive without pressure.
Embracing Autumn’s Lessons
As autumn unfolds, it's the perfect time to connect with the earth element, reflect on your boundaries, and realign with your root chakra. Consider taking a few moments each day to ground yourself, whether through mindfulness, walking in nature, or meditating on your own needs and desires.
This season teaches us not only how to let go and say no, but also how to explore safely. As you find balance between protection and growth, remember: saying no is just as important as knowing when to say yes. Both are tools that keep us grounded, strong, and aligned with our deepest selves.
If you'd like to dive deeper into grounding practices and explore these concepts in a supportive environment, join me for one of my yoga classes, where we’ll focus on connecting with the earth element and finding balance through the root chakra.
Photo by cottonbro studio